Thanks to a number of deals involving cheap movie tickets in theaters around my particular area of residence, I have watched a number of movies over the past couple weeks. It occurred to me that I am, in fact, a film student, and so I decided I will review all the movies I saw! For convenience purposes, I will list them in ascending order of whether or not I liked them. Descending? I'm starting with the one I liked the least and going to the one I liked the best. Cool?
# 5- Savages (Oliver Stone)
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| Based on a song from Disney's Pocahontas |
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So Savages is about two dudes who grow pot, one a peace-loving buddhist, botanist, and businessman, and the other a violent former Navy SEAL. Who are both in love with Blake Lively and must fight for her affections and... no... wait... I guess they share her? What the hell? Anyway, she gets kidnapped by Eva Mendez and her powerful Mexican drug cartel who are crushing any competition-- no, I guess they just wanted to make a deal with them. And there is actually a more powerful cartel that will soon muscle them out of the game. And Eva Mendez's character cares more about her daughter than she does about her business. Not exactly a quality you want in your ruthless cartel leader. Well surely that other cartel will... do basically nothing. Eva's lieutenant, played by Benicio Del Toro is sneaky, murderous, and a little bit crazy and a much better villain than Mendez. But Darth Vader isn't supposed to be scarier than the Emperor. That and the disappointing lack of action make this my least favorite movie of the week. I recommend a rental, but I wouldn't pay full price in a theater. I give it 5 jars of marijuana out of 10.
#4- Rock of Ages (Adam Shankman)
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| Diego Boneta? More like Diego BONERta. |
Rock of Ages is a musical about a small town girl living in a lonely world who took the midnight... bus... going to Hollywood, where she meets a city boy, born and raised in... didn't specify. Love ensues! If you like 80s rock and/or the show Glee then this is the movie for you. The love story is a little cliched but Tom Cruise gives an excellent performance as a crazy person. At least I hope it was a performance... It also has Bryan Cranston in it, who seems to be in a lot of movies these days. Good for you Bryan Cranston! Finally escaping the shadow of Frankie Muniz. Russell Brand was definitely my favorite part of the movie so it definitely could have used more of him. There were also a lot of sub-plots going on and at times it got a little hard to keep track of but overall it was a pretty enjoyable experience. I would say see it if there is a deal going on. I give it 7 bitchin' guitar solos out of 10.
#5 Ted (Seth MacFarlane)
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| Ha! That Teddy Bear is consuming alcohol! Teddy Bears don't usually drink alcohol! |
Are you a fan of Family Guy/American Dad/The Cleveland Show? Then you will probably like this movie. Luckily, I am indeed a fan of MacFarlane's other work, to a certain degree. The story is about a young boy who wishes for his teddy bear to come to life as a kid and then grows into Mark Wahlberg. As an adult he has to balance his relationship with Ted, his best friend since childhood, and his girlfriend, played by Mila Kunis. Eventually Mila Kunis makes him choose between her and Ted and he has to grow up blah blah blah. We've seen stories like this before. That being said, there are some really funny moments in this movie, the kind of humor found in MacFarlane's shows. I especially like Patrick Stewart's opening narration, and a cameo by Flash Gordon star Sam Jones. Oh and it has my best friend Joel McHale in it, playing an even douchier version of Jeff Winger! I'd see this one in the theaters, if you get a chance, but I wouldnm't make it a priority. I give it 7 Hawkmen out of 10.
#3 The Amazing Spider-Man (Marc Webb)
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| The next reboot will presumably be called The Super Amazing Spider-Man |
First of all, Marc Webb? Seriously? His name is Webb? CRAZY. Anyways... So inevitably this is going to be compared to Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy so I might as well jump on that band-wagon. I think I prefer this one to Raimi's. We get to see more of Peter's backstory and the emotions he goes through following the death of his uncle. I also like the more realistic, sympathetic reaction by Flash Thompson (who may be getting a Venom spin-off) to Peter's grief compared to the usual portrayal of bully characters as All-Dickhead All-the-time. In terms of love interest, I definitely like Emma Stone better. She seemed more competent than Kirsten Dunst who's role was basically to get kidnapped. Instead of J. Jonah Jameson's relentless spidey hating we have Gwen Stacy's father, played by Denis Leary, who, as a police chief, actually has a motivation to dislike Spider-man. There are a few flaws, like Gwen Stacy becoming Peter's girlfriend with basically no effort on his part, and Dr. Connors going REALLY crazy, REALLY fast. However, I would definitely recommend seeing this one in theaters. I give it 8 radioactive spiders out of 10.
#1(tie) Moonrise Kingdom (Wes Anderson)
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| Directed by Michael Bay |
Wes Anderson is one of those directors with a very distinctive style. A style that, to be honest, I'm not the biggest fan of. However, I loved this movie. It had a weird quirky charm to it that just appeals to me for some reason. Plus it's got Bill Murray in it, always a plus. The story centers around Sam and Suzy, played by unknowns Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward, as they run away from their lives to live together in their own little world. Which would be fine if they weren't twelve. Their disappearance triggers a manhunt across the tiny New England Isle where they live involving Sam's scout troop, the local law, and Suzy's parents that causes everyone to think about their lives in a very Wes Andersony kind of way. The two kids give great performances in my opinion and I expect we will be seeing more of them in the future, though hopefully not just in Wes Anderson's posse. I would definitely see this one in theaters. I give it 9 shirtless Bill Murrays out of 10
#1(tie) Brave (Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman)
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| Do they not have combs in Scotland? |
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Brave may seem like a typical Disney princess movie at first glance but there are some interesting subversions. For example, this is one of the few Disney movies with an intact set of parents by the end of the film! Merida is also the only Disney princess who doesn't have a prince! Even Mulan, which had similar themes of a woman proving herself in a man's world, had... whats his face... the general guy. I think he was a general. Not important though! Merida has no love interest! Which automatically makes her a lesbian, according to some. Really though, the story isn't about Merida and the man who will come into her life and solve all her problems. And it isn't about proving that women can do anything men can either. At it's heart this is a story about a girl and her mother and the relationship they share. And also bears. I would definitely recommend seeing this one in theaters, especially if you are a Disney/Pixar fan. I give it 9... arbitrary ratings units... out of 10.
