Triumphant Return of Dr. Thunder

So hey reader(s), I have decided to start updating this blog more often. Because apparently years of intense apathy toward my written works have communicated the message that clearly my work is in hot demand. Speaking of which, if you didn't know, I have recently finished my first full length novel, It will be the third book I have written and the first without the intervention of

SUP SLUT.

Oh. Hi Dr. Thunder. I thought you started a cult.

Oh I did. It was pretty fantastic, let me tell you. We were all set up in a nice little compound in the Peruvian Alps, away from the laws of man and god, creating a more perfect human being through a combination of untested genetic engineering and forcing kidnapped athletes to have sex with scientists. Then we videotaped that, sold the tapes, and used that money to fund a giant machine that harvests male and female zygotes and combines them in vast artificial wombs. Sadly, the Peruvian authorities while our army of perfect men was still in it's infancy. Rather than a legion of super-smart, physically perfect ubermen it was basically just a giant vat of gooey, incredibly attractive toddlers. They barely managed to kill anyone. Luckily, I escaped by sacrificing my followers in a fiery tempest that lit up the night sky like a midnight sun.

You know, the Alps are in Switzerland. You're thinking of the Andes.

Nah dog. There were Alpacas. ALPacas. Liek from the ALps.Not Andpacas. That would be dumb. Like you.

The sad part is that does kind of make sense in a weird way.

Of course it does. I'm Dr. Thunder. Everything I say or do becomes correct by virtue of me doing it. Speaking of which, I got married again, then divorced, then married, then divorced. I finally hit the big 120. I'm pretty proud of my sexual accomplishments. How about you big guy? You still hideously unlovable? Or did you finally pop the question to that big tub of vaseline. I volunteer to be the best man. I already have a speech prepared. You would be surprised at how many words and phrases the Peruvians have for "Gigantic torso" and "long, ape-like arms"

I've been busy. Writing a book. And I also graduated from college.

Right. Because that's so hard. Writing a book. And also graduating from college. I did that shit like nine times. But hey, at least you have a worthless degree in a field with no job openings from Cal State Whogivesashit right? I bet that'll look nice and shiny on your wall, next to all your My Little Pony posters.

Look, did you have a point? Or are you just here to harass me.

Let me think... no. Just the harassing you thing. Also I stole your car and filled it with jungle diseases. Oh and if you insist on writing, then I too must return to the game, to spread my wisdom down on all the... all the... children... of... the world. Yeah. Awesome. 

Fantastic. Well in summary, I am going to be updating this blog more, with short stories, and movie reviews and stuff about things, and I guess Dr. Thunder will be continuing his Ask Dr. Thunder thing.

Don't forget to email me at xtremedoctor@gmail.com! I won't read them, but it's nice to feel like your accomplishing stuff right?