Mark Trail Fan Fiction

It was a quiet spring afternoon in Lost Forest as Mark Trail and his faithful canine companion Andy returned home after three weeks of taking pictures of a particularly hilarious squirrel. As he walked through the door of his rustic cabin, he immediately tensed himself for danger. With a quick dart to the left, he narrowly escaped a hug from his wife Cherry, an attractive raven-haired woman in a pink blouse who was inexpicably attracted to him, causing her to slam face first into the door frame.
“Hello Cherry! I have returned at last!” Mark said, giving her a friendly pat on the back.
“I’m realy glad you’re home Mark! It’s been so long!” Cherry, said as she rubbed her forehead in as seductive a manner as she could, “It’s been too long…” She backed Mark against a wall and began unbuttoning his Khaki shirt with one hand and removing the belt from his khaki pants with the other, “It’s time we forgot about business and got down to some pleasure”
Mark shivered as his mind desperately raced for an excuse.
“Ha ha Cherry!” he said nervously, “I’d love to make the sex at you, but I’m afraid I need to… develop… photos! I must develop those photos I took for my job, as a wilderness photographer!”
“Can’t it wait?” Cherry said, sliding a figner down Mark’s exposed chest, eliciting another shiver from the outdoorsman.
Suddenly a loud, low horn rang out through the forest. Mark shoved Cherry into the wall and stepped back outside. A moment later the horn rang out again.
“The Horn of Lok’Patar! Bill needs me! Sorry Cherry, I have to go!” Mark happily rebuttoned his shirt and headed back out into the forest, Andy at his side.
“But what about me!” Cherry called out to him.
“You have Rusty to keep you company!”
“Who?”
“Rusty! Our hideous adopted son!” Mark pointed to the pen at the side of the house where Rusty was playing with various rescued animals, all of whom he had named “Lucky”.
“Oh, right! You know some day, you will give me a child of our own!”
“Ha ha, Gross! Bye bye then!” Mark sped off in his jeep toward his editor Bill Ellis forest compound.

“I’m glad you could make it Mark!” Bill Ellis shook Mark’s hand as the outdoorsman entered his office. Mark’s right fist tingled as he saw the other occupant of the room, a short, wide man, nearly as wide as he was tall, with a thick red beard that came down to his belt.
“Who is that.” Mark said, narrowing his eyes at the long beard.
“That,” Bill said, “Grall Firebeard King of the Dwarves of the Amber Mountains.”
“Did you know he has a… beard!”
“Based on what Cherry tells me he may not be the only one here with a beard” Bill muttered quietly as he sat down at his desk.
“What was that?”
“Hmm? Oh nothing. Anyway Mark, King Firebeard’s people have been trying to clear a plot of land to the south to build a strip mall, but his loggers were driven off by the Bear Queen and her forces.”
“The Bear Queen!” Mark gasped, “But Queen Mary the Grey was slain nearly three winters ago.”
“Aye,” Grall spoke up at last, “But my scouts tell us there is a new bear queen. A fierce beast my men call Margo the Black. She is gathering all the bears of the forests and is planning to drive out both man and dwarf alike.”
“We’ve already lost three wilderness camps,” Bill added, “The rangers are stretched thin trying to defend those that remain.”
“So what do you need me to do Bill?”
“Well, I think the whole thing would make a good story. SO I’m sending you to the Dwarven camp.”
Suddenly the door to Bill’s office flew open to reveal an attractive raven-haired woman in a pink blouse who was inexplicably attracted to Mark.
“I want to come to!” She said,
“No Kelly, it’s too dangerous.” Bill said, as Mark withdrew to put some space between himself and the female, “It would be foolish of you to go.”
“I can do this Bill! I will show you and Mark that I can do anything he can!”
“The answer is No, Kelly.” Kelly turned and walked off in a huff.
“Ha Ha! Women!” Mark said, as he stood up from behind the plant he had crouched behind when Kelly entered the room. “Am I Right? Seriously. Am I?”

The next day Mark and Andy arrived at the Dwarven camp. It was full of idle Dwarven woodsmen, each sporting a thick, lustrous beard and Mark was barely able to restrain himself from punching each and every one of them in their tiny faces. Grall was waiting for him at a large tent in the center of the camp. Standing at his side was an attractive raven-haired woman in a pink blouse that would soon be inexplicably attracted to Mark.
“Hail, human,” Grall said, reaching up to shake Mark’s hand, “This is my daughter, Elizabeth.”
“Why hello there, Mr.Trail, I’ve heard so much about you!” Elizabeth said, batting her eye-lids.
“Hello! You look an awful lot like my wife! Cherry! Who I am married to! This prevents me from making sex at you!”
“Alright, Mr. Trail,” Grall said, “If you’ll come with me, I can take you to the site of the latest attack by the bears.”
Mark followed Grall toward the edge of the forest when suddenly a Dwarven scout came running towards them from another part of the camp.
“My King!” The Dwarf said, “A Human woman went into the forest with a group of rangers, they’re headed for the Bear Queen’s lair!”
“By Odin’s Beard!” Grall shouted, “I shall assemble a war party at once! Mr. Trail, would you like to accompany us?”
“Sure! Can Andy come?”
“The dog? Sure!”
“Excellent! Come Andy! We’re going to meet the Bear Queen!”

Grall, Mark, Andy, and 30 dwarves headed deep into the forest. Along the way they encountered the bodies of those foolish enough to wander this close to the bear queen’s domain.
“Hmm, this is odd.” Mark said to no one in particular, possibly Andy, “Where are all the animals?”
“Bark!” Andy replied.
“They’re scared of the bears.” Grall growled, “they been stripping the land of anything small enough for the bear queen to cram into her gullet.”
Suddenly there was a roar and a shout of alarm and the bears were upon them. A dozen grizzlies closed in on the war party. The Dwarves pulled axes and rifles from their backs and fought back but many were torn apart.
“Rally dwarves!” Grall shouted as he toppled a bear in front of him with an axeto the kneecap. As it fell Mark punched it in the face, which accomplished little more than making it angrier. However, the dwarves sooned a formed a circle and drove off the bear attack.
“Huzzah! We did it Andy!” Mark said, proudly, as the dwarves tended to their dead and dying.
“Six dead, four more wounded.” One of the dwarves said to Grall, “Should we press on?”
“Aye Snorri, none suspected this would be easy.”
After burying their dead the war party moved on, deeper into the woods until they came upon a large cave, filed with bears going about their business. The dwarves hid at the edge of the woods and spied on the bears with binoculars. A huge black bear with a snout coated in dried blood, twice the size of any other bear, strode out of the mouth of the cave, followed by two smaller bears, one with reddish auburn fur, the other with fur the color of golden wheat. The reddish bear pulled a cage, containing Kelly and a pair of disheveled rangers. Queen Margo surveyed the bears around the cave, who bowed to her as she passed. Briefly, she paused and turned to the gold bear. A snarl sent the gold bear back to the cage, where she pulled out one of the rangers and brought him to the bear queen. With a snarl at the other bear Margo snatched the ranger and messily devoured him, adding a fresh coat to the blood around her maw.
“Hmm. There’s Kelly!” Mark said.
“Bark!” Andy agreed.
“Prepare yourselves brothers!” Grall whispered to his men, who drew their weapons, “We’ll never get a better chance to slay the queen!” He then burst from the bushes waving his axe and bellowed a war cry. His warriors followed him, shouting, firing and waving axes and hammers.
“Come on Andy! While they have her distracted, let’s rescue Kelly!”
Mark skirted the chaos erupting in the middle of the clearing in front of the cave and headed for the auburn bear pulling the cage. Upon seeing Mark the bear stumbled backwards in fear.
“Shh… I’m not going to hurt you!” Mark soothed her as Andy went behind her and opened the cage.
“Mark!” Kelly shouted as she leapt at mark and hugged him before he could avoid her, “I knew you’d come!”
“Going after the bear queen was foolish of you Kelly. You are very foolish.” Mark said as he desperately tried to pry her off of him.
“I’ll have to reward you Mark… somehow...”
“I am married to Cherry! Who is my wife! As a married person I cannot have sex time with people who are not Cherry!” Mark stammered, “And also we have to stop the bear queen from taking over the forest!”
“That’s the thing!” Kelly said, finally releasing Mark from the hug, “The bear queen isn’t attacking anyone! The bears are just defending their territory!”
“I knew it! The Dwarves must want the bear queen’s territory for their own nefarious bearded purposes!”
Mark turned toward the battle in the center, where Grall and Margo battled surrounded by a pile of dead bears and Dwarves.
“Grall! The jig is up! It’s time to face JUSTICE!” Mark shouted, distracting the Dwarf King long enough for Margo to land a swipe, knocking him across the clearing and into a tree. Mark walked over to him and as he groggily rose to his feet, punched him in the face, sending him back to the ground.
“Ranger, take him away!” Mark said and turned to the other survivor of Kelly’s party, as he was torn in half by Margo, “We should run!”
“Bark!” Andy agreed.

The next day Mark returned to Lost Forest with Andy.
“Well old friend, now that Elizabeth has taken over the dwarves they’ll be steering clear of the bear’s lands.”
“Bark!”
“Once again the Forest is safe!”
“Mark! You’re home!” Cherry said, dropping down from the tree she had been hiding in. Seconds later she had Mark’s hands and feet bound.
“Uh… I am married to Cherry so I cannot, Wait! Damn! Uh… I think Bill is calling me!”
“I cut the phone lines Mark.”
“Uh, Oh look, Andy needs a bath!”
“Doc can bath Andy.”
“I think it’s about time we taught Rusty how to drive.”
“No. No more excuses Mark. You’re going to have sex with me!”
“Bark!” Andy dug the taser deep into Cherry’s back. She fell to the ground convulsing as Andy dropped the weapon and began gnawing through Mark’s bonds.
“Good work Andy! I can always count on you old friend!”