Movies with Just Michael: The Madmen of Mandoras

So the other day, I purchased the Gorehouse Greats Collection from Walmart for 5 dollars. This included 12 of the cheesiest sounding B Horror Movies I had ever seen. Last night I watched The Madmen of Mandoras aka They Saved Hitler's Brain, because, frankly, that is an awesome title.
Now I used to think that a movie could be "so bad that it is good". The movie Good Luck Chuck made me reevaluate that view since it was so bad it was awful. The movie Madmen of Mandoras is not what one would traditionally call a "good movie". The acting is atrocious, the production values are terrible, and the plot has more holes than Tony Montana at the end of Scarface.
However, it occurred to me that the original, primary purpose of a movie, especially once you'vew gone past the point where it could be financially successful, is to entertain. So by that logic, Madmen is a good movie, even if most of the entertainment does come from pointing out its flaws. Sort of like the concept behind reality shows I suppose.
Anyways, now that that's out of the way, let's get thsi review started. The movie opens up with some footage of a nelephant falling asleep. This is some sort of documentary being shown to a group of military officials to demonstrate the effects of "G-Gas" which we are told can not only penetrate any conventional gas mask, but fucking concrete. It is here we are introduced to a scientist who is integral to the plot and one of the main characters. Unfortunately, I completely forgot what the hell his name is. While the demonstration is going on, a mysterious foreign man desperately tries to enter the room to talk to the scientist. Then he gives up after roughly a minute of trying and wanders off somewhere. Now that is persistence my friends. We are then introduced to the main protagonist, another guy who's name I forgot. Now, I have a bad memory, but I still remember every single character from the movie Snatch, which I watched for the first time the night before. The film makers just really didn't give me a reason to care about who these characters were. Although I'm sure a badass montage of all the characters with their names onscreen would have helped. After a brief conversation we leard that Charles (the name I am goign ot call the protagonist) is the scientist's son-in-law. After he leaves, the scientist gets a phone call that someone has kidnapped his daughter! Surely he will now team up with his son-in-law on some sort of rescue... what? Oh, apparently he has another daughter. So Dr. Science goes to her apartment and finds a lamp tipped over and her oddly calm fiance stunned on the floor. They are then kidnapped by Nazis. Seriously. Ok, we don't know they're Nazis yet, but we will find that out soon. The foreign guy from before watches this happen and then goes to recruit Charles and his Wife for the rescue mission on the mysterious island nation of Mandoras. After expositioning for a few minutes in their car on hte way to the airport, foreign guy is shot in the neck by nazis and Charles and Wife decided to just leave him in some random telephone booth (Seriously). They then fly to Mandoras and meet Foreing Guy's brother Carmine (or something) who explains to them via flashback that his brother was a scientist working for Hitler, who was obsessed with Immortality (as exemplified by making two hilariously bad clones portrayed by actors of completely different heights and body types). As the Russians stormed Berlin the scientists removed HItler's brain and were then gunned down. Apparently, his brother somehow survived the gunshot wound, escaped a heavily fortified Nazi bunker, and managed to make it back to his home country to tell his story, only to be gunned down in a car and abandoned in a phone booth. Now the Nazis are on the island and have kidnapped Dr. Science in order to find out what the antidote to the G-Gas is and... destroy... it? Ok, their plan is kind of stupid. After learning of this Nazi plot to take over the world, Charles and Wife leap into action and... go buy some dishes and eat at a nice restaurant. There they meet Charlotte (one ofthe few names I remember) who is very cheery for someone who just got kidnapped. She gives Charles a disturbingly long kiss and then sits down at their table, breaking the dishes they just bought. Then a mysterious Mandoran man named Vasquez appears at one side of the bar, the Chief of Police appears at the other, and a Belly Dancer of Plot Significance nervously gridns Charles. Suddenyl the lights go out and Vasquez is gunned down. Despite the fact that he doesn't have a gun Charles is arrested by the Chief and taken to the President's manor. There we meet the President and a really obnoxious American man (I think he's the ambassador) who has literally no significance to the plot. El Presidente turns them over to the Nazis and they reunite with Dr. Science. Then the main Nazi guy shows up with *gasp* Charlotte's fiance! Who was a Nazi the whole time apparently! This is never really explained, but then again this particualr character is like a magnet for plot holes. Nazi Guy then takes them to meet Hitler's stil living severed head, who mostly just sort of grimaces at them. Later they come up with a daring plan to escape by knocking out a pair of guards with karate chops to the neck. Luckily this plan is totallt unnecessary as The President and Chief of Police were on their way to rescue them and free their country from the Nazi tyranny. After escaping, they get into a pair of cars and leave the compound. Little do they know that Nazi Fiance (aka David) is after them. I mean, they should know, because his car is 12 fucking feet behind theirs. Charles and Wife then decide to ditch their car for some reason and go it on foot. David follows after them and starts firing wildly. Charles, beign a handsome young man, was given a firearm earlier and decides to wait it out until David runs out of ammo. When this happens Charles steps out from cover, only to discover that David has a second god damn pistol shoved in his waistband. Charles tries to fire only to discover his gun has no ammo but luckily the Chief of Police shows up and takes out David. Meanwhile the Nazis are mobilizing to implement their master plan, as two generals are flying in at midnight to... supervise? They never really explained why they were coming, since they already had Hitler their. Speaking of Der Fuhrer, the way the Nazis transport him to the airfield for the master plan is by attaching a handle to the glass jar portion of the machine he's hooked up to, and then just lifiting it off. There's is no visible technology that would be keeping his head alive, his neck ends at the bottom of the glass bucket. So after Charles, Wife, El Presidente and the rest of the gang reunite, they go to gather the rebels for a final assault on the Nazis at the airfield. Oh, and in a totally pointless scene, the NAzi convoy stops briefly at the town, where David's body has been moved to the middle of the street for some reason and the Obnoxious American ambassador (or something) reveals that David was his son. You know, despite having a completely different accent and last name. The movie ends with the rebels blowing up all the Nazi soldiers, planes, and cars with a series of grenades (Seriously) and a drawn out shot of Hitler's waxy head melting in the flames of the blown up car. Then Charlotte decides to marry Carmine, despite knwoing him for all of 15 minutes and the movie ends happily. Oh, and if you're wonderign what happened to those two Nazi generals, well, so am I. I give this movie a 4 out of 5 for entertainment value and a 1 out of 5 for actual cinematic merit.