Well it's time once again for movies with just michael. And sure, it's been so long that none of you know what the title means anymore. Just to recap: I had a radio show called Movies with Michael and Mike but it was destroyed by apathy. Then I turned it into movie reviews on my blog called Movies with Just Michael. Then I decided it would be more fun to just mash up all the movies I had recently seen. So that's what I will be doing today, with three movies I saw recently: Immortals, In Time, and Attack the Block. Just a warning, there will be spoilers, although it's up to you to figure out which movie they are from. Let's get started!
So the movie begins when Justin Timeberlake leads his gang of teenage London street toughs in a small Greek village built into the side of a cliff. Despite his tough exterior he still loves his mother, Olivia Wilde despite everyone else in the village despising her because Justin Timeberlake was born out of wedlock.
Little do they know the evil King Hyperion has decided to ravage Greece, stealing all the time for himself with his vast army of Wolf-Gorilla Aliens and leaving the poor Greeks without a day to their name to rot in large apartment blocks. Justin Timeberlake and his band of hoodlums are approached by the Timecops who are amassing in an apartment block built above The Magical MacGuffin Prison. But alas Justin does not yet have the proper motivation to take action because his mother is still alive.
Luckily for the plot of the movie, King Hyperion and his alien horde quickly take care of that, slaughtering everyone in the village and taking Justin and his gang as slaves (Excpet Biggs who hides in a trashcan for the remainder of the movie. While enslaved, he encounters Amanda Seyfried, King Hyperion's daughter and a virgin oracle. She drools in his mouth to bring him back to life and helps he and his gang of London youths escape.
Meanwhile, they have gained the attention of the Gods, who have decided not to help him in any way, despite the fact that if he fails they will most likely all die. In fact, when any of the gods interfere and help Justin, which would have resolved the entire plot within minutes, the King of the Gods, Cillian Murphy, murders them. Because apparently he cares more about the letter of the law then actually doing what is right in a sort of misguided sub-antagonist kind of way.
Justin, Amanda and his gang decide to go to the Magical MacGuffin prison after all, to join up with the Timecops facing Hyperion, who has discovered a magical bow using his magical hyena that can somehow outrun a horse that is running non-stop for three days. Seriously, what was up with that Hyena? Did anyone else notice that?
While the Timecops face down the alien horde, Justin and his gang discover that they are being controlled by pheromones. And so with the help of Amanda Seyfried, Justin lures them into the Magfical MacGuffin prison and blows them up in a gas explosion.
Unfortunately, Cillian Murphy decides to arrest him anyway, refusing to listen to his side of the story because of his low class, but as he is carted off to Time-Jail atop Mount Olympus, he realizes he has gained the respect and admiration of the people.
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