According to Plan

                Wendy Wallace, reporter for The Daily Inquisitor, had been taken prisoner.  Commander Terror laughed as his Terror Troops tied her securely to a metal chair, deep within the center of the Terror Fortress.

                “You’ll never get away with this! Gigaman will stop you!” Wendy shouted at the super villain, her blonde curls bobbing as she struggled to escape the ropes confining her.

                “That’s where you’re wrong, Ms. Wallace!” Commander Terror boomed, his voice amplified by the skull mask he wore over his disfigured face. “My Fortress is impregnable to the likes of him!” He gestured with his arms to encompass the fortress around him, sweeping back his black cloak. Everywhere Wendy looked, Terror Troops swarmed, wearing black berets and skull masks and carrying deadly laser rifles. Many sat at consoles, overseeing the operation of the base and its many defenses. Across from Wendy was the main door, made from reinforced concrete. A pair of Terror Troops manned two giant laser cannons aimed directly at the door.

                “Nothing’s impregnable to Gigaman! He can… pregnate… anything!” Wendy said.

                “I don’t think that’s a word.” Commander Terror said, “You’re a journalist, Yes? No wonder the newspaper industry is failing.”

                “The only thing failing today is you!” Wendy retorted.

                “Ok, that one was a little better.” Commander Terror nodded in approval, then quickly struck a menacing pose, “But it is Gigaman who will fail! No one can infiltrate the Terror Fortress! First, he will have to make it across my Terror Moat, filled with my deadly Terrorcudas! Their saliva, infused with Vanadium, his one weakness!”

                “Do you have to put Terror in front of everything you own?”

                “It’s a theme!” Commander Terror said, clenching his fist in rage, “Next, he will have to make it through my Ter… my Horror Labyrinth! A winding maze filled with deadly traps from which no man has ever escaped! There he will have to contend with the Terrortaur! A half man, half goat monstrosity!”

                “I thought it was supposed to be half-bull…”

                “That’s the MINOTAUR. This is the TERRORTAUR. If by some chance he makes it past the labyrinth, he will face a legion of my finest Terror Troops, led by my dreaded lieutenant, Doom Quixote!”

                “Gigaman will defeat him, just like he defeated the rest of your vile henchmen!”

                “Ah! But that’s not even the worst of what I have in store for—“

                “Uh, excuse me sir.” One of the terror troops tapped Commander Terror on the shoulder, “We have a situation.”

                “What is it you fool!” The super villain spat, “You’re interrupting my villainous monologue!”

                “Well, it’s just Gigaman showed up a few minutes ago…”

                “Ah! He’s already here!” He turned back to Wendy, “Now you will witness his demise, as his futile attempt to rescue you fails!”

                “Well, it’s sort of already failed.” The Terror Troop said, staring awkwardly at his polished black boots.

                “What do you mean?”

                “Well, he’s already dead.” The man said nervously, “Terrorcudas got him. I guess infusing their saliva with Vanadium did the trick.”

                “DEAD!” Commander Terror roared, “Impossible! Gigaman has the strength and agility of a billion men! This is clearly some kind of ploy.”

                “Well that’s what we thought too. We sent a couple guys out to investigate and he’s definitely dead. We even stabbed him a couple times with those Vanadium edged knives you gave us. Steve cut his head off to make sure.”

                “Well then, clearly it is an impostor!”

                “We thought of that, and he does look an awful lot like Rick Stone, reporter for The Daily Inquisitor, but his skin was bulletproof and everything.”

                “Gigaman was Rick Stone?” Wendy cried out, tears forming in her eyes.

                “Well, obviously,” Commander Terror said, “The only thing he did to disguise himself was put on a fake mustache. A fake mustache that was the wrong color, might I add.”

                “I can’t believe he’s really gone!” Wendy sobbed.

                “Yeah, me neither.” Commander Terror said, scratching his head in confusion, “So he didn’t even make it to the Terror Labyrinth?”

                “I thought you said it was called the—“

                “I LIED. It’s the fucking Terror Labyrinth.”

                “No sir,” the minion replied, “Made it to the other side of the moat and then just died on the shore from Vanadium poisoning. On a semi-related note, a lot of the Terrorcudas are dead too, but I think that’s mostly genetic defects from the whole, infusing them with Vanadium thing.”

                “After I spent all that money on that stupid Terrortaur!”

                “Yeah that thing’s dead too. I’m surprised it survived as long as it did, with all that mental retardation and the brain tumors… we really need some better geneticists or something around here.”

                “Yeah yeah…” Commander Terror stared at the ground, deep in thought, “Does Doom Quixote know yet?”

                “Yeah, he actually wanted me to tell you that he was taking the rest of the afternoon off, I think he’s taking some of the Terror Troops to Hooters.”

                “Well, I guess that’s okay since apparently we don’t have to fight Gigaman today…”

                “So what do we do now?”

                “I… don’t know. I didn’t actually expect things to go this well. Hell, I already have my escape rocket prepped for launch.”

                “What about me?” Wendy asked, tears still streaming down her face.

                “Uh… good question.” Commander Terror said, looking the spunky reporter up and down.

                “Can I go?”

                “Sure. Why not. I suppose we don’t really need you anymore.” He walked over and undid her bonds, “Sorry about all this.”

                “No no,” Wendy stood up and stretched. She had stopped crying. “Now that I think about it Gigaman was kind of a douche.”

                “Right?” Commander Terror said, walking Wendy toward the door, “That’s what I keep telling everyone!”

                “He was so uptight!” Wendy continued, “He threw a hissy fit whenever I so much as went above the speed limit! And not telling me he was Rick Stone? What the hell?”

                “No relationship can work without trust.” Commander Terror nodded, as the massive concrete door swung open.”

                “I guess I was really just in it for the glamor of dating a superhero.”

                “I don’t blame you.” Terror Commander said, “Say, this is gonna sound crazy, but are you doing anything tomorrow night? You wanna grab a drink?”

                “I don’t see why not,” Wendy said, as the super villain escorted her to an emergency exit, “I mean, I’m really digging the whole power thing you’ve got going on.”

                “I get that a lot.” Commander Terror said, as he opened a small door that led out into the city streets, “I’ll pick you up at eight, in the Terror Maserati.”

                “Sounds good.” Wendy said, “But if it’s okay with you, can we just call it the Maserati?”

THE END